Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i think my mom watched the whole time
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize