im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
