im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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