he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
