ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
