I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
