I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
