Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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