I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
