It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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