there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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