i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
