Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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