Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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