I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
