I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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