He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize