@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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