..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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