normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
