New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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