went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
