chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
