when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
