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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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