I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it glows. i had to have it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
