it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
