i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Text me some of your sweat
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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