I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
