I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just had sex on a roof
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
