i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Redeem this text for a blowjob
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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