drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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