Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
