I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I want is dick and wine.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
