So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
