dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
