My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
