yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So many bounce houses so little time
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
