Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
