I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
