I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
kristin has been a bad kristin
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
