So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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