Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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