I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
