Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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