Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
