Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize