why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It's Friday. Sex?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
only you would photoshop your dick
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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