Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
