I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize