i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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