Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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