why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You were trust falling into bushes
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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