i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
