Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
