This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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