at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
