If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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