But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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