It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
