I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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