He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
