If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
