I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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