They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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