Screwed.edu
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
