Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
