I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
