I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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