his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
