Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
