my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
